Preaching Tool Question 5: What opportunities can I take to promote attitudes and actions that nurture healthy relational practice and experience?
Understanding the issues
From the story of God’s creation we understand the inherent dignity and worth of each person created in His very image. The redemptive work of Jesus and the transformative power of God’s Spirit offer an alternate cultural shaping. As we are made one with Him and one another we nurture both individual and mutual flourishing. The tenets of sacrificial love, humility and servanthood encourage relationships at their best.
I appreciated how my pastor framed gentleness and self-control not as weakness, but as the fruit of real strength, as Jesus showed. That's the kind of man I want to be.
Opportunities to watch out for
For Example:
| When I’m preaching from these parts of the Bible… | Can I highlight … |
|---|---|
| God’s Creation and Purposes (e.g. Genesis 1-2) | The value and inherent dignity of all persons created in God’s image. Male and female are together called to God’s purposes. Marriage is God’s idea and we are called to honour and value one another within it. |
| Sin and the Fall (e.g. Genesis 3-50) | Broken relationships are a consequence of sin and need restoration. Redemption includes restored relationship with God and with one another. |
| The Story of Israel (e.g. Old Testament narratives and prophets) | God uses his power not to dominate but to love, protect and care. Israel was called to model radical relationships within community to reflect God’s character and show a different way. God champions the cause of the marginalised and vulnerable. |
| Jesus’ life and teaching (e.g. the Gospels) | Jesus models healthy relationships with all persons. Jesus elevates and honours women, the vulnerable and the marginalised in particular. Jesus uses power on behalf of others, never for himself. |
| The Church and its mission (e.g. Acts and the New Testament letters) | The church models love to one another that is patient, kind, self-sacrificing and humble. This is required of men and women. In Christ, the dividing walls between male and female are broken down and we can truly be one. The church is family to one another, giving us responsibility and accountability towards one another as sisters and brothers. Conflict is to be expected but can be resolved in mutual love and respect. Followers of Jesus live out their faith in every area of life, including marriage and sexuality. The gospel is good news for a broken world and invites us into a new family of restored relationships. |
| New Creation (e.g. Revelation) | Jesus is working to make us one people, with no divisions between men and women, or people of different status, class or race. Our hope is in the renewal of all things, including restored relationships once and for all. |
Practical suggestions
Name and speak regularly to relational values
Reinforce the church’s positive relational model
-e.g. In your relationships have the same attitude as Christ. (Philippians 2:5)
-e.g. Jesus said we are known by our love for one another (John 13:35). Our communities can and should be places of flourishing, safety and respect.
Call out counter cultural biblical values
-e.g. Humility, grace, mutual submission, gentleness are Christian qualities – not just female qualities (Colossians 3:12). Ask what does it mean in our culture for men to show these attributes.
MAXIMISe cultural and contextual opportunities
Acknowledge dates and actions in broader society
-e.g. Mothers’ Day, Fathers’ Day, International Women’s Day, International Day for the Elimination of Violence against Women
-e.g. Royal Commissions, introduction of coercive control laws, community awards given for positive relational work
Celebrate people and organisations
-e.g. highlight local action and advocacy groups
-e.g. tell positive stories of people within your congregation (significant anniversaries, community activities, reconciled relationships)
provide tools and resources
Equip people to practice healthy relationships
– e.g. practice good communication, assertive communication and healthy confrontation across church life
– e.g. run marriage or parenting courses, conflict management training
Further resources
Trigger warning: Domestic abuse, pornography, conflict and relationships
VIDEOS
Prayers of Paul
Brian Harris, Director, AVENIR Leadership Institute
Recorded in 2021
"Conflict and the risk of weaponised scripture in marriage relationships"
Brian Harris, Director, AVENIR Leadership Institute
Recorded in 2021
“Honest Human Pastors Create Safer Spaces”
Mandy Smith, Pastor, Speaker, Author of “The Vulnerable Pastor”
Recorded in 2021
“Prevalence of pornography and links to domestic abuse"
Elissa Macpherson, President of Baptist Women of the Pacific, Vice-President of Baptist World Alliance Women
Letiitia Shelton, Author and CEO City Women
Recorded in 2021
See https://fightthenewdrug.org for more information
“Safety for People with a Disability”:
Natasha Bennet, Facilitator for the Circles Initiative of the Community Living Project
Recorded in 2021
Additional Resources:
– Sunny App: 1800Respect’s app for women with disability who have experienced violence and abuse. https://www.1800respect.org.au/sunny
– https://www.servicesaustralia.gov.au/individuals/people-disability
– https://www.beyondblue.org.au/
– https://www.blackdoginstitute.org.au/
– https://www.healthymind.org.au/#
– https://www.mindaustralia.org.au/
– https://mhfa.com.au/resources/mental-health-first-aid-downloads
– https://www.learningdisabilities.org.uk/learning-disabilities/our-work/iapt
– https://www.disabilitygateway.gov.au/
– https://askizzy.org.au/disability-advocacy-finder
– https://www.sa.gov.au/topics/care-and-support/disability/complaints
– https://www.ndis.gov.au/